Deze blog is onlangs geplaatst op de blog van Mirjam Hart: een goed verhaal – the baby project.
In de hoop andere moeders te steunen mag dit stukje niet op mijn eigen weblog ontbreken.

Toen Mirjam mij vroeg of ik een stukje wilde schrijven over mijn ervaringen met borstvoeding twijfelde ik even. Ik heb mijn oudste zoon voor Nederlandse begrippen lang gevoed en ik ben daardoor best wel pro-borstvoeding geworden. Maar inmiddels weet ik ook dat borstvoeding niet voor iedereen vanzelfsprekend is en dat ik misschien mensen kan helpen of steunen door mijn eerlijke verhaal te vertellen.

Vanaf het moment dat je zwanger bent, komt er van alles op je af: Waar wil je bevallen? Hoe wil je bevallen? Geef je borst- of flesvoeding? Vóór mijn zwangerschap vond ik borstvoeding maar een beetje gek. Ik kende niemand in mijn omgeving die het deed en ik ben ook best wel preuts opgevoed.

 

 

Toch was ik er al vrij snel van overtuigd dat ik borstvoeding wilde geven. In mijn familie komen veel allergieën voor en ook ikzelf heb er al mijn hele leven last van. Borstvoeding zou de beste voeding zijn voor het voorkomen – dan wel verminderen – van allergieën. Daarnaast eet ik graag zo natuurlijk/onbewerkt  en biologisch mogelijk, borstvoeding is in mijn opinie de meest natuurlijke/onbewerkte babyvoeding.

Een opmerking van een verloskundige tijdens een informatiebijeenkomst over bevallen gaf voor mij de doorslag: “Als ik aan jullie vraag wie er gaat bevallen dan zegt iedereen ‘Ja’, maar als ik vraag: ‘Wie gaat er borstvoeding geven?’, dan zeggen jullie ‘Ik ga het proberen’. Waarom zeggen jullie daar geen ‘Ja’ op? Borstvoeding is eigenlijk het logische gevolg na een zwangerschap”.

Omdat ik lang gevoed heb, denken veel mensen dat het mij makkelijk af ging. Maar het tegendeel is waar. Natuurlijk zijn er mensen bij wie de borstvoeding vanaf dag 1 goed loopt, maar veel vaker zijn er kloven (pijnlijke wondjes aan de tepel, meestal veroorzaakt  door verkeerd aanleggen/aanhappen), borstontstekingen, stuwing en lekkage.

Roan is in het ziekenhuis verkeerd en te lang aangelegd. Doordat ik geen goede begeleiding had gekregen, ging ik met bloedende tepels en blauwe plekken (!) op mijn borsten naar huis. Vrijdagavond laat waren we thuis, moe van ruim 20 uur bevallen en niemand om mij te helpen met voeden. Daar zat ik dan, midden in de nacht, met een huilend baby’tje, pijn en geen idee wat te doen. Flesvoeding had ik niet eens in huis!

Voor de tweede nacht op rij geen oog dichtgedaan en de uren aftellen totdat er “hulp” kwam van een kraamverzorgster. Op zondag werd er spruw vastgesteld en de week daarna had ik een flinke borstontsteking en een week antibiotica te pakken.

 

 

Uiteindelijk heb ik dertien weken lang fulltime gekolfd en Roan toen weer langzaam aan de borst gekregen. Na een maand of vier/vijf liep het allemaal pas soepel en vond ik het zonde om te stoppen. Ik had het “geluk” dat ik niet werkte en dus volledig op verzoek kon voeden, zonder te kolven. De dagen werden weken en toen was hij ineens twee geweest.

De hoeveelheid voedingen werden minder en tijdens mijn tweede zwangerschap ben ik definitief gestopt. Ik was erg misselijk, het voeden deed zeer en ik had het idee dat er ook eigenlijk nagenoeg niets meer was. Roan accepteerde dit gelukkig zonder problemen.

Doordat ik zo lang gevoed had, dacht ik dat het bij mijn tweede kindje wel makkelijk zou zijn, maar het tegendeel was waar. Bij Caelan ben ik ingeleid en de eerste twee weken was hij eigenlijk te moe om te drinken. Hij was veel afgevallen, zag geel, kon zichzelf niet warm houden en kwam ook niet meer aan. Omdat hij zo moe was, hapte hij niet goed aan; dus ik had in no time weer kloven. Dus wederom kolven, finger feeding (borstvoeding in een spuitje via je pink, zodat hij minder moeite hoeft te doen) en verstopte melkklieren.

Daarna sloeg het de andere kant op, vanwege overproductie at hij te veel, kwam explosief aan en had daardoor veel buikpijn en darmkrampen. Ook bleek hij koemelkallergie te hebben.

Inmiddels ben ik al maanden op koemelkvrij dieet en loopt de borstvoeding soepel. We zijn alweer een half jaar onderweg en ook nu zie ik wel waar het schip strandt.

Bij Roan heb ik nooit in het openbaar borstvoeding durven geven. Combinatie van preutsheid en bang voor de reacties van andere mensen. Bij Caelan doe ik het nu wel. Ik heb al een ouder kind rondlopen en anders ben ik wel heel erg aan huis gebonden. Als we wat langer weggaan, neem ik een grote hydrofiele doek mee en daarmee bedek ik Caelan zijn hoofdje en mijn borst.

Ik heb tot op heden geen vervelende reacties gehad, maar ik zie mensen wel kijken. Ik zou mij enorm opgelaten voelen als iemand een opmerking zou maken. 

Vorige week vroeg ik in de dierentuin aan een medewerker van een horecaplek of ik even achter het scherm mocht zitten wat daar stond. Hij verwees mij toen naar de verschoonruimte. Ik heb toen gezegd dat ik het vervelend vond om de verschoonruimte onnodig bezet te houden voor mensen die hun kind willen verschonen maar om heel eerlijk te zijn verbaasde dit voorstel mij ook enorm. Ten eerste omdat het een dierentuin is, waar de dieren zelf ook ‘zogen’ maar ook omdat ik het niet hygiënisch vind om te eten op een plek waar anderen hun behoefte doen.

Eigenlijk, door mijzelf te verstoppen, draag ik eraan bij dat mensen borstvoeding in het openbaar vreemd blijven vinden. Opmerkingen dat moeders die borstvoeding geven maar thuis moeten blijven kwetsen mij. De Wereldgezondheidsorganisatie adviseert twee jaar (!) borstvoeding. Dat zou betekenen dat ik bij ieder kind twee jaar lang binnen moet blijven zitten omdat andere mensen de aanblik van een klein stukje blote huid (vaak is er zelfs niets te zien) niet kunnen verdragen. In mijn ideale wereld wordt borstvoeding iets heel normaals, waarbij wij onze kennis overdragen van generatie op generatie, en vrouwen heel goed (en kosteloos) begeleiden.

 

 

In de basis is het overgrote gedeelte van de vrouwen in staat om borstvoeding te geven, (gelukkig wel, anders waren we allang uitgestorven) maar ik denk dat het vaak een gebrek aan (goede) begeleiding is waardoor het veel vrouwen niet lukt. En het is lastig in onze huidige maatschappij waarbij vrouwen ook werken en veel moeite moeten doen om hun borstvoeding in stand te houden. Stress is daarbij killing voor je productie! Daarnaast vraagt borstvoeding op verzoek een andere benadering dan een vast schema met flesjes en ook dat loslaten is soms lastig. Ik merk ook dat er bijvoorbeeld bij het consultatiebureau niet de meest borstvoedingsvriendelijke adviezen worden gegeven waardoor de productie terugloopt.

Ik denk dat het enorm zou helpen als we met z’n allen eerlijk zijn over borstvoeding. 
Het is soms keihard werken, uiterst oncharmant en pijnlijk! Het vereist een flinke dosis doorzettingsvermogen, goede begeleiding, steun uit je omgeving en een beetje geluk. Ontbreekt één van die dingen dan wordt het al lastig.

Gelukkig kunnen kinderen prima groot worden met flesvoeding en laten wij vrouwen elkaar steunen in plaats van veroordelen. Laten we elkaar helpen en ‘onderwijzen’ in plaats van met vingers te wijzen.

Liefs Chantal

Chantal

Chantal, thirty-something, moeder van twee jongens: Roan en Caelan.
Naast fulltime moederen vul ik mijn dagen met fotograferen, planten verzorgen, DIY projecten en op goede dagen gezond eten en sporten ;-)

222 thoughts on “Mijn eerlijke borstvoedingsverhaal”

  1. Wat een heerlijke blog!! Ik herken me er enorm in. Mijn zoontje is nu 11 maanden en ik geef nog een ochtend en avond voeding maar ook bij mij ging het niet vanzelf! Na een bevalling van 33 uur lukte het Mn zoontje niet om goed aan te happen. Met 1 geheel terug getrokken en een vlakke tepel was het voor hem niet gemakkelijk. Na herhaaldelijk proberen hebben we aan 1 kant een tepelhoedje geprobeerd. Helaas verkeerd aangebracht door de beginnend verpleegster. Daardoor bloedblaren en kloven. Gelukkig een lactatiekundige die in greep. Ook toen we na 2 dagen naar huis mochten werden we onwijs goed geholpen door de Kraamzorg. Na een week begon het pas echt goed op gang te komen. Maar ook daarna was het echt hard werken! En toch kan ik zeggen dat het het helemaal waard was en is!!!!

    1. Wat een heftig begin hebben jullie gehad! Waarschijnlijk ook heel anders dan dat je voor ogen had? Geweldig dat je zoveel doorzettingsvermogen hebt en nu nog steeds voed. En als het eenmaal loopt dan is het ook de moeite waard he? Nog veel fijne voedmomentjes gewenst samen <3

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  25. Snyder owns three WSOP Circuit rings and this is his second WPT money.
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